Ask Sophie - intuitive life coach
Crimes of a narcissist - blame shifting
*** This post is now available as an audio file on YouTube ***
A Narcissist is nothing more than a mental antagonist; they lure you in with little titbits of concern/kindness before they pull the old bait and switch, leaving you completely stunned and paralysed.
And yet, they feel entitled to your unconditional love. They feel deserving of your generosity and forgiveness; regardless of the fact that they fail to bestow any such qualities on you. A...
How to deal with fear, anxiety and phobias
Fear has been a normal part of my life as far I can remember. I honestly cannot recall a moment in time whereby I wasn't feeling nervous about something. From the first day at nursery to an interview from hell, it didn't seem to get any easier. It was quite an isolating experience as no one wanted to hear or even discuss about fears in general. I felt like I was the only one who was continually on edge. Society has such a tremendous...
How to overcome rejection
***This post is now available as an audio file on YouTube ***
Why rejection hurts
Rejection isn't an easy pill to swallow. Whether it was a hard blow, a subtle 'hint', fact or fiction, it still smacks of the same bitter flavour. The incident plagues us, swirling endlessly in our tired minds; exhausted from trying to work out the whys and wherefores. Rejection unravels even the best of us and often leaves a trail of broken dreams,...
Why we remain stuck in toxic relationships - and what we can do about it
There is something almost mystical about toxic relationships. They demand endless attention, effort, energy, and money. Yet we are seemingly enslaved by them. It seems like the biggest scam in history - that the more loving we pour into it, the less we get in return.
We cry out in pain, reach out to our friends and loved ones for comfort only to crawl back to our supposedly evil partners. Soap operas become a...
7 top lessons on handling emotional and mental abuse
***This post is now also available as an audio file on YouTube ***
The following are 7 top lessons I've learned from experience, which have proven to be particularly liberating in my battle with the bullies.
As the saying goes, we often hurt the ones we love. However, isn't it about time that we challenge this strange belief? Why does society accept this form of torture and most importantly what...
How you can get your ex back
It's frequently asked "How can I get my ex back?" and while there aren't any hard and fast rules, here's some general things to consider:
Before we start following them everywhere like a lost puppy, we need to get a grip and ask ourselves why the relationship fell apart in the first place. We cannot justify what our partner had done but we can certainly speak for ourselves. Ask yourself what part did you have to play...
Suspect that your partner is cheating? Is it wrong to spy on them?
Deep down we know it's wrong but the temptation is often unbearable. Who are they texting? What do they really get up to when we're not around? Could they be hiding something or is it our own insecurities at play? Many of us at some point have wanted to check up on our partners. But why?
Perhaps our reasons are completely justified. Maybe you've noticed that they've been more distracted lately. Maybe you're having...
The importance of truth in relationships - how truthful are you?
Honesty is the best policy. And yet many of us shy away from the truth. If truth is so highly valued, why do we still lie?
Frankly, most of us even lie about wanting the truth. If your partner was cheating on you all this time, would you be able to handle it? What would you do? What if they revealed their real motivations for cheating? What if it was because they found you boring in bed; not attractive enough; not rich enough;...
Do you have a fear of intimacy?
Nothing compares to falling in love. They make your heart skip a beat. They bring meaning, inspiration and sunshine into your life. You cannot imagine a life without them.
Yet at the same time our instincts urge us to to flee. Whether we act on this feeling or not, we are subconsciously pushing our partners away when perhaps its the last thing we truly want to do.
Why is falling in love so confusing and hard for some?
Two steps forward one step...
Are you tired of giving and not getting? Feeling shortchanged in a relationship? Feeling frustrated, confounded or simply unhappy?
But is your partner really the problem?... Could it be you?
Before we point the finger at our partners, perhaps we should remain humble and see how we may have contributed to the breakdown of the relationship. That is not to say that you should blame yourself, rather try to see yourself as your partner would. We are often quick to blame our partner or blame...
7 Signs you've met your soulmate
There is a belief that the soul was split into two, that we as individuals incarnate as half of a soul on this earth. Our mission should we choose it is to find that other half of ourselves.
With 7 billion people on the planet, finding your soulmate is like finding a needle in the mothership of all haystacks! If you have a feeling someone is your soulmate most likely they are. However for those who are unsure (as I once was), here are some good...
How many of us would openly admit to having anger issues? Not many.
Anger includes obvious aggressive outbursts to sarcasm, evasiveness and criticism (passive anger). That would suggest that the world's population has anger issues of some description!
What is the purpose of anger and how can it be beneficial for us?
According to Sheila Videbeck anger is "a normal emotion that involves a strong uncomfortable and emotional response to a perceived provocation". Anger is a primal emotion. Anger...
How to get over your ex
How many of us have tried moving on from an ex but only to find ourselves obsessing over them? We dread to think if they've forgotten about us already and moved onto something better. We stalk their facebook page, play sad music, get lost in thoughts of memories you once shared. We hope and pray that they are thinking of us and missing us too. And yet even if we try our best to move on, date other people, conquer the world, lingering thoughts of them still bubble up....
Trust issues in relationships
We've all been there at some point in our lives. They say trust takes time to build but mere moments to destroy. I was broken hearted when I found clear evidence of a lover's betrayal - on our second year anniversary. I felt dazed, angry and sick to my stomach. It was as though he stabbed me right in the heart.
How could he do this to me? What have I done to deserve this?
I kept on asking, begging and pleading for answers but I received none. I blamed him. And...
Love, Life and Destiny Guru
Dating, Relationship and emotional wellbeing Advisor
Heavy tea drinker
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