Ask Sophie - intuitive life coach

Can you save your relationship?

09/04/2015 11:12

Are you tired of giving and not getting? Feeling shortchanged in a relationship? Feeling frustrated, confounded or simply unhappy?

But is your partner really the problem?... Could it be you?

Before we point the finger at our partners, perhaps we should remain humble and see how we may have contributed to the breakdown of the relationship. That is not to say that you should blame yourself, rather try to see yourself as your partner would. We are often quick to blame our partner or blame ourselves when unhappy. However blaming does more harm than help and doesn't solve anything. If you genuinely want to rescue your relationship then you can begin by stopping to blame yourself or others.

That's right, no one is to blame.

So, what else do I need to do?

It really depends on how much you desire change. If you truly want a loving relationship then a great place to start is by focusing on the relationship you have with yourself. Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong. Let's be honest, if you had an amazing relationship with yourself then you wouldn't need or want anyone else to love you. 

Ask yourself how you feel towards your partner? Are you angry, resentful or sad? Try to get in touch with these emotions and keep asking yourself why you have these feelings. Is it because we have an expectation from them? A sense of them owing something to us? Or perhaps you didn't put boundaries in place? Taking a step back to understand why you're attracting or remaining in an unhappy relationship tells you a lot about your sense of self value. Ask yourself the real reasons for being in the relationship? Is it for the right reasons? For example, would you still love your partner if they had no money or were no longer attractive?

It takes two to tango, two to make a relationship and only one to break it. If you've reached a cross roads in the relationship then something needs to change. When one asks "can I save my relationship?", perhaps they should ask if they can save themselves first. A loving relationship doesn't center around the fulfillment of each others' "needs" (that's co-dependency). Needing love from anyone is a clear sign that you have an emotional blockage. When we find ourselves needing love from our partners it's really because we are somewhat reluctant to love ourselves. So what's stepping in the way of your own self love?

If you wish to explore this personal matter further, please see me for a friendly personal consultation.

Sophie x 

 

 

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Love, Life and Destiny Guru

Dating, Relationship and emotional wellbeing Advisor

Motivational Speaker

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