Ask Sophie - intuitive life coach

How to deal with fear, anxiety and phobias

13/04/2016 18:25
Don't be ruled by your fears. Fear is not your master - Guru Sophie,

How to deal with fear, anxiety and phobias


Fear has been a normal part of my life as far I can remember. I honestly cannot recall a moment in time whereby I wasn't feeling nervous about something. From the first day at nursery to an interview from hell, it didn't seem to get any easier. It was quite an isolating experience as no one wanted to hear or even discuss about fears in general. I felt like I was the only one who was continually on edge. Society has such a tremendous stigma about fear and has a zero tolerance policy. It just goes to show how afraid of fear we actually are. 

It took me a long time to emotionally acknowledge that my fears weren't real. The emotional acceptance was a real game changer for no amount of mental overriding, distraction, denial, talking or education could alleviate my anxiety. It wasn't until I stopped trying to repress my fears that things started to shift in my life. Those decisions, events or things that previously terrified me began to seem less daunting. I've become less afraid of my fears because I have been able to decipher the difference between the emotion itself and reality. I used to get so freaked out by things like spiders that I'd convince myself they were in my bedroom when there wasn't one to be seen. So powerful were my fears that I imagined there to be things in my life that simply weren't there. The fact of the matter is that fear is just an emotion like any other. It's just something that needs to be experienced and released - but not obeyed. We shouldn't allow fear to dictate our lives. In other words, we should just allow the feelings of fear to wash over us and do the opposite of what it's urging us to do! It takes a huge amount of bravery to take that jump into the unknown but we need to remind ourselves that growth cannot be achieved if we remain stuck in our comfort zone. Just imagine how amazing you'll feel in taking that plunge, taking that chance and finally stepping over that phobia. Go easy on yourself, Rome wasn't built in one day as they say. Overcoming any fear takes time. So long as you encourage yourself to dip your toe in bit by bit, eventually that urge for you to make that giant leap will overtake you. Your fears don't define you. It's not who you truly are, underneath it all.

As infants, we began life crawling on our hands and knees and yet we mastered the art of walking; despite the many graceless falls and tumbles. If we kept associating the concept of walking to that of pain and failure, we'd still be cruising on all fours to this day. The point I'm trying to make is that we never gave up, we kept trying. We could all benefit from regaining the curiosity, fearlessness and determination we possessed as youngsters. If you were to start seeing the world again through the eyes of a child, those fears would suddenly seem utterly ridiculous. Nothing is impossible unless you let yourself get in the way of what you can achieve. Fears aren't as real as they feel. 

Fears. We all have them. Some choose to ignore them. Others live in them. I have learned to respect them. We can learn an awful lot about ourselves if we just feel our fears as opposed to letting them run our lives. Fears are just reminders of psychological injuries that need to be released. You don't have to live an exhausting life of constantly tip toeing around people, things or situations that send you running for the hills. You can overcome this! Keep telling yourself that you can do it, feel that you can do it and before you know it you'll be kicking fear in the backside. Decide to reclaim you power once and for all, and kick those fears into touch. 

If you wish to explore a personal matter further, please see me for a friendly personal consultation.

Sophie x


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